eunoia :: notes

2025-06-12

i'm feeling pretty bummed. yesterday, i managed to use my camcorder as a webcam input with my laptop, and before i had to run errands, i was able to record a short video with it. and it worked! i used a bluetooth headset as the microphone because my laptop mic is crap, and that and the webcam is like, perfect to me. i love it when my videos look like shit but have good audio lol.

but when i got home from doing stuff, i tried again, and i recorded a video fine.... and then i played it back and the video was unwatchable! every few seconds, it would flash the capture card's default colorbars, for reasons unknown to me, and the audio would also cut out (probably because i processed it in the same ffmpeg command), so i can't even salvage that. it really sucks.

in the video, i wrote a quick bash script and talked about Stuff. i really wanted to share the video. so that sucked.

i've been messing with this site a bit, at least. i added custom emojis (more on that later) and code blocks with copy buttons. here's that bash script i mentioned before, in a cute little code block:

#!/bin/bash

battery=$(upower -i $(upower -e | grep 'BAT') | awk '/percentage/ {print $NF}' | sed 's/%//g')
batteryint=$((battery))

if (( "$batteryint" < "50" )); then
	notify-send "battery is under 50%!"
elif (( "$batteryint" < "20")); then
	notify-send "battery is under 20%!"
elif (( "$batteryint" < "10")); then
	notify-send "battery is under 10%!!! charge ur laptop!!!!"
elif (( "$batteryint" < "5")); then
	notify-send "battery is under 5%!!!!! CHARGE LAPTOP!!!!!!!!!"
fi

how cool is that?! i wanna add a copy button but i'm so bad with javascript that all my attempts failed. better luck next time.

here's the custom emoji! i don't really have many places to use them, but at least i have them:

superlove

:superlove: :superpride:

comics

:donnapray: :ravencry:

(both of these are from new teen titans!)

idols

:njyippee: :tokkium: :maalol:

(first two are newjeans, third is sato masaki)

nerd mascots

:tuxstupid: :gopherdance:

misc

:husk: :sickos:

2025-07-28

i'm trying a new habit: daily notes in obsidian. i just started it last night, so who knows if it'll stick at all. but i made a basic template where i can jot down my tasks for the day, today's events/things on my calendar, and three good things to jot down at the end of the day. i also have some fun stuff, like a weather forecast powered by wttr.in through templater shell functions, and similarly, a little quote section that shuffles through quotes from jenny holzer through a fortune file. hopefully i can make this work! i'd really like to get into this habit.

my anxiety has been pretty bad lately. it doesn't help that, when i go outside, the heat has been so severe that i feel faint (i'm heat sensitive from my medication), and one time recently, i had to take a car home because i felt so woozy :ravencry: it's been nerve-wracking. but i'm still trying my best to get outside regularly. there's that at least.

2025-08-26

i am beyond overwhelmed. i think i'm stretching myself way too thin, but i don't know how to dial it back. it's just... i'm juggling a lot, and so much of it is stuff i like and is exciting, but when it's all at once... it's too much. curse my inability to set boundaries.

i'm really obsessed with tsubaki factory's song amayadori no epilogue. it's so emotional and desperate! i love sad idols LMAO. give it a listen!!!

i'm also giving leaflet.pub a shot; it's a blogging/publication service based on ATproto, the protocol that powers bluesky. so far, i'm just sharing little dumps of links i enjoyed, but maybe it can turn into something more.

last friday, i went to the NYC ATproto community hack day! it was a lovely meetup with tons of awesome developers and likeminded nerds around, and i had so much fun meeting with bluesky mutuals and talking with people. it really inspired me to try to find and go to more meetups just like it. blog post on this event coming soon... hopefully?

2025-11-09

long time no note! i've just had A Lot going on. common theme in these little updates, i guess.

i started reading a new book the other day: territory of light by yuko tsushima (on storygraph). i'm enjoying it, though less so the headspace it puts me in. it's a weird in-between of the depression of it all being a bit comforting, and also a bit much for me to handle right now. while reading it, i got progressively... not sadder, more just, down. it really hit me hard, though i have little reason to relate to the protagonist, besides the shared depression and limbo we seem to share.

despite that, i am enjoying the book. it's very short, so i hope to finish it soon.

i've really loved rosalía's new album, LUX. i didn't intend on checking it out, as i haven't been keeping up with much of anything new in music this year, but after my first listen of the lead single, berghain (featuring yves tumor and björk!!), i immediately knew this was something i had to listen to in full.

and i'm so glad i did, because this album is gorgeous. my favorite songs are easily divinize, porcelana, berghain, and la rumba del perdón. divinize in particular gives me so many feelings :villaincry: i highly recommend giving this a listen!

2025-05-12

today i moved this site from hand-coded HTML/CSS to astro. i'm very happy with the result. i just keep toying with the site, making pages and other nonsense. hell, even this now page is a result of that. it's a lot of fun.

i'm a bit nervous for this coming week, but hoping things go well. i've been feeling down and it's been hard to lift my spirits, though that hasn't dampened my excitement about my new job as a sysadmin for fujocoded, as well as my general passion for server stuff.

2025-06-08

told you these updates would be infrequent. also i renamed them from "now" to "notes" because it's not really a proper now page.

anyway, i've been kind of going through it mentally. not gonna get into it, but certain things have had me re-evaluate myself and my current state, and it's motivated me to try to work on myself more. so far, it's going alright. of course the thought of eventually faltering and losing momentum lingers, and it scares me, but i just have to keep going and keep trying.

i kind of want a new keyboard. i found one that i liked on the microcenter website, a pink and white one like i want, but there's no numpad. guess i have to keep looking.

i've been reminding myself of how healing it is to hear your oshi sing. yesterday, i quickly recorded a minidisc of some of my favorite ballad performances by dambara ruru. i'm listening to one performance as i type. it's calming me down despite my immense anxiety right now. she really heals me.